Tragic and unfair as it is, even domestic violence is an expression of
Love. At one time the "perpetrator" was a small and needy child, and
no child is ever a perpetrator. This small child has suffered dearly and
we need to cry for him or her; he or she is full of agonizing trauma and
deprivation, and unable to feel the terrible pain of having been a victim
of awful abuse.
This person is now very, very angry - and rightfully so. This anger is
working defensively and is the way this poor child was able to survive
such a sad childhood.
Now in the present this very angry child is still at war with what hurts,
and the anger is holding down unthinkable and unimaginable things.
The victim of domestic violence is a victim indeed, and not the real
person the anger is directed at, but this does not mean that the
domestic violence victim is completely innocent.
Page 2
There is never any excuse or reason to
strike or hurt another person, ever.
Not unlike the co-dependents of alcoholism or drug addiction, they are co-
dependents in co-acting the repetitive spiral leading into domestic violence,
where their behavior co-mounts into violence, and they are co-dependents in the
spiral leading out of it.
The key for both here is to return to the Love,
and the true Love is being blocked by pain and fear. To
return to the Love of a child who was hurt and let down, it
is necessary to grieve, to hurt, to cry the tears that the
anger and violence are blocking.
Yet the victims of domestic violence are ideal co-dependents.
and with much support can finally reach the feelings
which are turning to anger and violence.
The perpetrator of domestic violence now has a Personal Muse,
The victim of domestic violence now has a Personal Muse. It is time to cry for
the need to be living like a frightened child in a thunderstorm, and the need to
suffer at the hand of the lightning the victim is the rod to attract.
Both perpetrator and victim must cry for each other, like two children in the sandbox who are not at fault for what happened to them. In the meantime the victim must maintain strict boundaries.
Page 1
“I will not ever be hit again.”
“I will recognize the mounting tension early and extricate myself immediately.”
“I will not live with someone I do not trust completely.”
“But I will not give up on the hurt child needing to punish me for something we are
both innocent of.”
“I will continue to love, and to hug, and to do my own grieving work so that the
perpetrator may do his or hers.”
Both perpetrator and victim of domestic violence require rehabilitation, both
need to cry, and both need to love. Your Personal Muse is standing by.
