Anger
Let’s start backwards shall we? We don’t control our anger, our anger controls us.  It tightens us up, battens down our hatches, and brings us to battle stations, and out come our cannons ready to fire! Anger is a defense mechanism, like an ancient Man Of War, or if you’d like, a Woman Of War! Anger rescues us from danger. Anger is good.  Anger is our ally.  Anger is meant to be harbored in our own port ready to defend us in case we are overwhelmed or hurt. Anger is also bad.  When our Man of War or Woman of War is unleashed upon kind villages and towns, which are unsuspecting and undeserving; or when only our pea shooter on the bow is required and we fire multiple violent volleys of our 25 pounders broadside as overcompensations. We learn to fear and regret our own anger and War-iorness.
What is anger?
Is anger good or bad?
Why do we feel angry?
How do we control our anger?
Anger
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We feel angry because we perceive pain and threat. We feel anger because we sense the rise of our own vulnerabilities from within. And anger protects us. It protects us from within, and it protects us from without. Anger is a form of protecting ourselves. Anger as a healthy emotion displaying how we have been wronged or hurt, is a healthy and necessary part of being a child or some day an evolved adult. “Wow!” We say to an angry child. “I can see that you are VERY, VERY angry. Tell me how angry you are!” Not: “Show me how angry you are, but TELL me how angry you are!” Anger is meant to be a display of communication, and we are meant to be listened to, and hopefully valued and heeded for our risk of showing our protective vulnerability, and then we can learn to trust our anger as an expression, not as an act. n n n n n n n n n n
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When anger turns chronic and violent, or frightening, it can no longer simply be managed, any more than managing the forests and fumaroles of Mt. Saint Helen’s or any other volcano as an  effort to prevent an eruption. Adult chronic anger is energy squirting out all over as the vulnerable volley is fired violently up from within, and the hatches are being battened down from without.  Unhealthy anger is being caught between the rock and the hard place. Anger which turns to acts of violence and fear is hiding a deeper meaning from all, a meaning which is vulnerable and frightened. A meaning which desperately needs to be heard and felt from the inside out, and not simply managed from the outside in.
More often than not, the child who expresses anger appropriately finds the tears of vulnerability and hurt that the anger came to defend against.
Anger is a protective cover over the tears rising to the surface.
And now it’s time to send a very special and very gentle message to the little person deep inside: The war is over!  Open up those hatches!  Reel in the cannons.  Reef the sails.  This Man Of war, this woman Of War is coming home!  And home is where peaceful and kind winds blow. Where warnings are listened to and heeded.  Where vulnerable becomes safe once again. Your Personal Muse has been on this voyage and back many times and is ready to be your guide!
“Wow!, I can tell you are really angry!”  Says Your Personal Muse.  And good for you, for you made it to the here and now, and that is something to be proud of.
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Anger
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